Prologue
A bunch of Indian students are facing deportation because Tri Valley University in California was found to be a sham institute. Some of the students were even radio tagged which made folks in India mildly outraged about how the US treats it’s illegal immigrants. One can’t really help but feel sorry for the poor students who are being treated as criminals – their only crime? Dreaming for quality higher education! But wait, do they really deserve our sympathy?
Taking their chances
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| but you can have brahmi's |
Before declaring my sympathy towards a person/group, I have to do some background checks. Of the 1500 odd students facing deportation, I am sure that some of the students already knew (or suspected) that the university was a sham but were desperate to go to the US so that they can look like they have achieved something in life. These students took a gamble that US authorities won’t catch them and it did not work out! Tough luck and welcome back, you don’t deserve my sympathies.
The Rest
It would be wrong to say that all the students were aware of the risks. Some of them probably genuinely thought that Tri-Valley University is an awesome place of higher learning. I think I have enough evidence to call them naive and due to my strict “Never feel sorry for the stupid” policy, they get no sympathy either!
Here’s why I am calling them stupid:
The website
This is the screen shot of their website www.trivalleyuniversity.org
Welcome
That was all from the first look. Let’s go into the finer details now. Now what the hell is a Christian scientist?
Faith Statement
Text:
Tri-Valley University is a Christian Higher Education Institution centripetal in Trinity, centrifugal and radiating from Trinity, the Center, to encompass diverse spheres of academic study and learning.
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| A rather generic question |
Why join?
If the number one reason to join their institute is a christian learning environment, may be we should check their accreditation. I'm just saying!
Research
Now this is easily the funniest page of the website. I mean they have over 13 laptops and 5 desktops with both windows and linux! Who else has that many? Let me think... my hostel wing, an internet cafe in Rajahmundry, A primary school in West Bengal, the Engineering college in Stewartpuram, Pithapuram Railway station...
Accreditation
To be fair, TVU did mention in their website that they don't have all the required accreditation!
Alumni
I am sure that all the students who have applied there must have visited their website at least once which means that all students there are either taking their chances or are genuinely stupid to fall for it. Either ways, they don't have my sympathies. Special thanks to http://www.campusghanta.com/ for the inspiration for this post.
That was an impressive analysis. Within few mins I got the whole picture. Nice work friend.
ReplyDeleteLove the Brahmi clips man, apt and classy! ;)
ReplyDeleteLove the Brahmi clips man, apt and classy! ;)
ReplyDelete@Victor and @Ashok: Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteWait a minute, do you steal story ideas from THE WEEK as well?
ReplyDeleteThis was in THE WEEK? I had no idea! I got this idea from a friend who writes at campus ghanta!
ReplyDeleteLoved your humor, Tadinada! I wish someone had explained all this to the ex-TVUites earlier.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm sure there are more varsities like TVU out there in the US waiting to be discovered. So hopefully, it'll help them realize!
ReplyDeleteloved your research program bit ... :)
ReplyDeleteseriously ... how come anyone teach electrical engineering in a christian way ? besides, if we believe in miracles , why should we engineer anything
... mixing religion and science is mixing drinking and driving ... finish the drink and then go on to drive ... :P
ROFL!!!
ReplyDeletedude!! brahmi clips kickass!!! and pithapuram railway station indeed!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Prats... btw, I loved your bday post. I know it's a bit weird but I like things that have an anti-climax :)
ReplyDeleteWhy was I given credit for this?????
ReplyDeleteI thank Addy brainwave for not murdering me with a fish hook in the middle of the night.
ReplyDeleteDude... the reality is... students come here on F1 visas, and work in part time jobs like McD, then save a few lakhs of rupees over years, and go back to India (or maybe stay illegally forever).
ReplyDeleteyes, I have an idea and that is precisely the reason I don't really feel sorry for them!
ReplyDeleteIt seems that the over emphasis on word 'Christian' was to exploit the state's archaic law.
ReplyDeleteVery well written! :D
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the US laws are very paranoid when it comes to offending religious freedom!
perfect post ... i stopped thinking of those fellows right after i saw the tvu website ... noobs .. cant help :)
ReplyDeleteand what about these, or worse who kept dreaming about success of obama's dream project
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/09/us/09immigration.html
In fact.. u might envy them... they work in minimum wage jobs, enjoy their life, and a few even marry american citizens... while 'real' students work their asses off.
ReplyDeletedamn replublicans!
ReplyDeletedamn politicization of merit,skill,rights and eligibility
ReplyDeleteand recently that ex-iit-jee chairmen@iit kharagpur ran a fake institute right under the nose of IIT Kharagpur ,which put 100s of Indian students "IN India" out of their blind faith in IIT name.I find that instance a relevant account for this post. don't you?
ReplyDeleteMan, I haven't laughed so hard all day!
ReplyDeleteI do feel sorry though, they were just trying to fulfill their requirements to get into the USA. It's the sham school that was set up to ensnare them that's at fault.
Did you ever read a whole license agreement for software that you've installed on your computer? Then give the kids a break for not reading all of the fine print on the website like a highly skilled investigative reporter like yourself did. They just want to get into the USA and maybe learn something.
If this site is the 'beginning of a new era', then why be negative about people wanting experience and change? America is fill of scams, that's how the place works.
Better to come in pseudo-legal then just coming in and staying.
Still, that post cracked me up!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteMay be those TVU students can come back to India and join that fake institute!
ReplyDeleteor may be this chairmen can set up a franchisee of the fake insti there fake students *fake students may nullify!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best blogs I have come across in a long time... really no sympathies to any of them..sorry!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rajyalakshmi :)
ReplyDeleteHey, please update the gifs in free time, and delete this comment thereafter : you could use http://www.chalanachithram.com/discus/clipart2/brahmam_tears.gif this time upload it to some non-expiring site.
ReplyDelete