The First Annual Facebook Awards

Lame people all around the world say Facebook is a blessing and I’ll unconditionally agree to it. It’s not because I can stay connected with people I don’t care about or because I get to watch/see/read interesting stuff. Facebook is a blessing because it allows me to do a lot of fun social experiments to eventually prove that all girls are stupid and guys are even worse!

Ladies and Gentlemen, without much further ado, gtoosphere presents -

Award for Worst Friend Suggestion

We all know Facebook automatically suggests friends, I have no idea how it does that. Whatever the algorithm is, it sucks. In most cases, I have no mutual friends with the suggested person! I seriously wonder why Facebook keeps on suggesting random females from all over the country. May be Facebook wants to promote harmless stalking. May be that is the reason Facebook is so popular in the first place! And yes,  Studd Laundiya is the icing on the cake ;)

Award for Most Responsible Citizen of India

Not every hero has a dragon to slay or a Disney princess to rescue. Not every hero needs one because today, we celebrate the new super hero on the block. He goes by the name “Ordinary Man”. He is like Batman after budget cuts! While Batman needs a Bat-mobile and millions of dollars’ worth of gadgets to fight crime, Ordinary Man needs only a cell phone. Whenever someone’s in trouble, Ordinary Man calls the cops from his cell phone and then he tweets about it! So criminals all over the country, beware because Ordinary Man has over thousand followers via two twitter accounts!

Award for girl with lowest self esteem

This is the first time in the history of humanity that such an award was even discussed. The nominees for this award are all those girls who put celebrity faces as profile pictures. I wonder why girls continue do that? It is not like when guys see a profile like this they think, Hey here is a girl that looks exactly like Katrina Kaif! All guys have already figured out that this girl is either too ugly to look at or has such a low self-esteem that she needs clinical attention. I sincerely hope that this will discourage you from that practice. 

Even though there are a lot of Katrinas, Kareenas and Priyankas in facebook but the award goes to all the girls who have Genelia D’ Souza’s pic as a profile picture. Now you might ask why Genelia D’Souza?

In the 2006 Telugu movie Bommarillu, Genelia plays the female lead Hasini. The movie was a smash hit; the average Telugu guy fell in love with Hasini and hence the average Telugu wanted to be like Hasini, which is fine except that Hasini is childish, dumb and immature bordering on mental retardation!

Award for Most Original and Wittiest Football Comment

First of all, I would like to thank BigFishMag for this one. I am a fan of Big Fish Mag and I saw this in their Facebook page. I just couldn’t resist giving this award for this really original and creative guy. Dude Manas, you absolutely deserve it. And remember, creativity is the art of hiding your sources.

P.S: This is an open ended post, So suggest new categories or similar stories and I will add it :)

IndiBloggers: This post is on IndiVine at http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=26726

The Hot Girl Pseudonym

Back in the 19th and 20th centuries, there were quite a few female writers (like Mary Ann Evans). Most of them had to use male pseudonyms (like George Elliot) to be even taken seriously by the readers! Men and women by definition were not equal then. Even in late twentieth century, Joanne Rowling had to use a gender neutral J. K. Rowling to sell Harry Potter to young boys and men (the reason here being more of economics than social). This only proves that men and women are equal only by a politically correct definition but not in our way of life.

But in early 21st century, social networking and blogging became "the thing" and the tables have turned. My theory is that it is lot easier for a girl to get recognition on the internet than it is for a guy. Be it facebook, blogger, twitter or whatever, it is much easier. Just look around you, look at your facebook wall, you can see some girl making an absolutely asinine status update and she gets two pages worth of likes and lols.

It’s the same with blogs. Even when they write about boring (and often narcissistic) shopping “adventures” or neighbor’s cute puppies, they get hundreds of followers and dozens of comments. But for a guy to have hundred followers! Well I am yet to run into a non-tech, non-celebrity blog with original content written by a guy to have over a hundred followers...

Just to prove my point, I conducted a controlled social experiment in facebook where I picked up one silly status message update of a friend on facebook and I put the same status message to compare the number of reactions.
The result: It is always one up for girls; two up if she is hot and uploads her pic!

52 comments!

No comments, just one like :'(

I am not blaming the girls for the seemingly unfair advantage, I am only blaming HIM (Horny Indian Male) who comments/likes/lols every silly status message and blog! (Even I am occasionally guilty of this offence but this is my redemption).

I have an offer to write my own column for a London based online magazine(yaay!) and I initially toyed with the idea of writing with a hot-girl pseudonym but decided against it for three major reasons. One, I do not want a bunch of desperate HIMs following me. Two, I do not want to lose the chance of a hot girl falling in love with me because I am so funny (highly improbable but not impossible) and three, I respect the intelligence of my readers. So I’ll be writing as g2 everywhere :).

P.S: I did not take permission from my friend on facebook to conduct the experiment because I believe it is always more convenient to ask for apology than permission. (If she is reading this, my apologies)

P.P.S: I can be so sexist.

P.P.P.S: Celebrating over 50 followers :)