Really weird Google searches that have led people onto my blog!

I thought I should get an insight into what my readers are like. So I went through my Google Analytics data and now I really really regret my decision because the insights are very disturbing to say the least. Below is the list of really weird Google searches that have led people to my blog in no particular order!

1. TRAITS OF LAZY OF LAZY HUMANS ; LAZINESS IN ANIMALS ; CLASSY LAZINESS
Seriously Google? I stick to blogger even though Wordpress is so much better. I work for 5 hours on each blog entry and  this is what I get in return?

2. ACCORDING TO HINDU CULTURE WHAT LUCK IS IT WHEN A PIGEON SHITS ON YOU?
I am no expert on Hindu culture but I am guessing the answer to be bad luck!  http://bit.ly/a21CKR

3. IS IT OKAY TO LEAVE SPIDERS IN A FISH TANK? ; WHICH BUGS MAKE GOOD PETS?
I am hoping for the sake of the poor spider that it is not the same person who asked both the questions!

4. DO ANIMALS PROCRASTINATE EVOLUTION?

Yes, that is why they are still animals. Had they been working instead of procrastinating, they’d have evolved into procrastinating humans by now :p --> http://bit.ly/bVdB7u

5. BEAUTY FOOL PIGOUN'

Excuse this guy, that was “beautiful pigeon” spelt in Bihari (I think)

6. COMPLETE HISTORY OF HITLER IN URDU

I am sure  you're disappointed that you did not find what you were looking for, so here it is -->

7. WORST IIT

I know I can get a little wacky from time to time but I never thought I’d make a dent on the brand image of IIT Bombay!

8. IIT MUMBAI COURSES OFFERED TO GENERAL PUBLIC

Hey doofus, IIT does not offer any courses to the general public. This is a “premier” institute that offers “premier” education to the “premier” intellectual royalty of India!

9. HOW GOOD IS COMPUTER SCIENCE IN IIT BOMBAY 

I won’t dignify that question with a response!

10. NO GIRLS IN IIT

You got that one right!

11. WHO IS GIRL IN AIRTEL FIVE RUPEES RECHARGE AD

Wait... Whaat? The first thing that came to my mind after reading this question was “chillara naa yaala”!

12. HOT ORISSA GIRAL; PLEASURE ME 

This is where Google searches get really creepy!

13. GIRL WITH GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

Wow, even I never thought of Googling that! So once, I saw this, I just couldn’t resist but Googling the same and this is what I got in the results! It is not one of those phone numbers that are scratched on the walls of sleeper class toilets in trains! This girl actually turned out to be quite funny... you should try it too!

14. FREE HTML TEMPLATES FOR GIRLS HOSTEL

Not a good idea sweetheart, not a good idea especially with blogs like these around! http://bit.ly/95TYkR

15. TELUGU PEOPLE ARE DUMB 

Hey, that was offensive! I am guessing Google was showing my blog to convince him/her that we’re NOT

16. SHARJEEL IIT 

Dude, I think the CIA is searching for you :p

Sense of Humor

Part I: Monkey in the lab part II

I was there getting into an international flight for the first time. My luggage was like 5 or 6 kilos over the limit and my dad waiting outside, kind of worried if they would allow it or not. After checking in my baggage, I wasted time loitering around in the airport without going to the immigration (to be honest I did not even know I was supposed to go to immigration, I thought it was for losers coming into the country ;)...) And soon I realized it is for losers leaving :( So I slipped my phone into the pocket of my new cargo pants and zipped the pocket(no idea why I zipped it... may be because its there).

Traveling by air is not at all fun. Even the little excitement about the trip is killed in the airports. At least for me it did. Standing in a stupid security checkup for an hour was boring to say the least. And just when my turn was about to come, my phone started to ring. It was my dad, I knew it from the ring tone. I wanted to answer it but the zip got stuck. The phone was ringing and vibrating, the security guy asks me to hurry up, I had two pieces of hand baggage in my hands, the flight leaves in 20 minutes, the passengers behind me in the queue were getting impatient and the zipper was stuck! Something's gotta give!

I let the person behind me go and tried to open it, it was stuck in the awfullest of ways in the cruelest of times. I tried to break it open but LEE happens to make some really strong pockets! I asked someone else for help. He was holding the zip and pulling out as hard as possible while I was struggling with my balance! No luck either. Then I asked another woman with a baby in the next line if she had some kind of a sharp object that could cut through jeans and she looked at me like I was some kind of an idiot. (Of course she would... who carries sharp objects that can cut through jeans to the security check in an airport!)

So I went ahead with the security check with the phone still inside the pocket (ringing)...

Security guy: What is this?
Me: It's a phone
Security guy: You are supposed to keep it in the tub there.
Me: I know... but the zip of the pocket got stuck and I am not able to take the phone out...
Security guy: Look please, there is a lot of queue, don't waste time.
Me: stepped aside and gave place to someone else. Tried to tear open the zip but no luck
Security guy: Now... make it fast.
Me: I'm trying but am not able to.
Security guy: ignores
Me <in the nicest voice possible>: Do you have a knife or something. I want to cut this open.
Security guy <Serious stare>: No knife, only gun!