July 10, 2010

Octopus, Parrot and Humanity

Proud Moments of Human Evolution. Part-1

I am convinced about evolution. Darwin might not have seen this through but I am sure that there is no way we humans can be the end result of any divine or intelligent design going by the recent news events! I know that's not great proof, but the past week of sports reporting has led me to believe that stating wild conjecture as fact is now considered acceptable journalism these days and I am only a blogger, not even a journalist!

So according to the media, in the last one week; Paul the Octopus emerged the new Spanish hero. The Spaniards want to rechristen it as Pablo and adopt it. A few angry Germans want to eat it. Now that the Octopus has predicted a Spanish victory for the world-cup final, the Spanish Prime Minister wants to send troops to protect the octopus! Mani – an equally successful psychic parakeet in Singapore has predicted a Dutch victory. The world cup final is now between Paul Octopus and Mani Parrot.

Attention whores from around the world are coming into the limelight by displaying their psychic pets which can “accurately” predict the world champions in football. I am sure no one believes it and yet everyone is excited about it. I wonder why PETA is not offended yet. They, as honorable members of the prestigious League-of-Easily-Offended should be offended by now! May be there is a grander plan. May be PETA secretly convinced Larissa Requelme to run naked in Paraguay. May be she’ll have a PETA tattoo instead of Axe. May be... *dirty thoughts censored*- (=|:-P)

I bet that if you repeat the experiment with the same Octopus and the same food, North Korea will win the world cup. Do you know why? Because a hungry Octopus doesn’t give a shit about humans! I bet it does not even have the sophistication to see the colors on the flags. It just crawls into the nearest box and eats whatever feels like shrimp. It’s just a handsomely packaged Rudi Goldberg-ish coin tossing experiment with the same odds!

But we don’t get it. Despite being on top of the food chain, human beings just don’t get it. We continue to get excited over a hungry octopus eating shrimp! It’s ridiculous and it’s embarrassing. The whole cast of Lion King is ROFL-ing at the human race. So is Mutley the mutt! I think humanity is stuck with a childish fascination to be swept away by some magic Octopus which will solve all our problems and bestow everlasting happiness upon us. Also humanity wants to fix the oil spill and stop Global Warming!

On a serious note, this may be my last post as a common manas one among you; because in two days’ time, I am going to be rich and famous. I have a coin. It’s no ordinary coin, it’s a magic coin. I just tossed it and… it’s TAILS. Hence The Netherlands will win the world cup! The media must be already on its way to report the awesomely magical coin and the amazing ME for tossing it and predicting every match in the world cup with 100% accuracy! So the time has come to bid goodbye and say this to you from the bottom of my heart, “Screw IIT, Screw you guys I am going home and later I’ll holiday in Casa Bonita!

I was expecting a standing ovation but I will settle for this :p

P.S: This post is based on the ideas and observations of Flawsophy who is too busy this weekend to write about this, so I took over. You should check out his blog here --> http://flawsophy.blogspot.com/

P. P. S: IndiBloggers, if you like this (I am sure you will), vote for this post on Indivine here --> http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=25031

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