Really weird Google searches that have led people onto my blog!

I thought I should get an insight into what my readers are like. So I went through my Google Analytics data and now I really really regret my decision because the insights are very disturbing to say the least. Below is the list of really weird Google searches that have led people to my blog in no particular order!

1. TRAITS OF LAZY OF LAZY HUMANS ; LAZINESS IN ANIMALS ; CLASSY LAZINESS
Seriously Google? I stick to blogger even though Wordpress is so much better. I work for 5 hours on each blog entry and  this is what I get in return?

2. ACCORDING TO HINDU CULTURE WHAT LUCK IS IT WHEN A PIGEON SHITS ON YOU?
I am no expert on Hindu culture but I am guessing the answer to be bad luck!  http://bit.ly/a21CKR

3. IS IT OKAY TO LEAVE SPIDERS IN A FISH TANK? ; WHICH BUGS MAKE GOOD PETS?
I am hoping for the sake of the poor spider that it is not the same person who asked both the questions!

4. DO ANIMALS PROCRASTINATE EVOLUTION?

Yes, that is why they are still animals. Had they been working instead of procrastinating, they’d have evolved into procrastinating humans by now :p --> http://bit.ly/bVdB7u

5. BEAUTY FOOL PIGOUN'

Excuse this guy, that was “beautiful pigeon” spelt in Bihari (I think)

6. COMPLETE HISTORY OF HITLER IN URDU

I am sure  you're disappointed that you did not find what you were looking for, so here it is -->

7. WORST IIT

I know I can get a little wacky from time to time but I never thought I’d make a dent on the brand image of IIT Bombay!

8. IIT MUMBAI COURSES OFFERED TO GENERAL PUBLIC

Hey doofus, IIT does not offer any courses to the general public. This is a “premier” institute that offers “premier” education to the “premier” intellectual royalty of India!

9. HOW GOOD IS COMPUTER SCIENCE IN IIT BOMBAY 

I won’t dignify that question with a response!

10. NO GIRLS IN IIT

You got that one right!

11. WHO IS GIRL IN AIRTEL FIVE RUPEES RECHARGE AD

Wait... Whaat? The first thing that came to my mind after reading this question was “chillara naa yaala”!

12. HOT ORISSA GIRAL; PLEASURE ME 

This is where Google searches get really creepy!

13. GIRL WITH GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

Wow, even I never thought of Googling that! So once, I saw this, I just couldn’t resist but Googling the same and this is what I got in the results! It is not one of those phone numbers that are scratched on the walls of sleeper class toilets in trains! This girl actually turned out to be quite funny... you should try it too!

14. FREE HTML TEMPLATES FOR GIRLS HOSTEL

Not a good idea sweetheart, not a good idea especially with blogs like these around! http://bit.ly/95TYkR

15. TELUGU PEOPLE ARE DUMB 

Hey, that was offensive! I am guessing Google was showing my blog to convince him/her that we’re NOT

16. SHARJEEL IIT 

Dude, I think the CIA is searching for you :p

Its a bad ad world

My tolerance for Ads is pretty high, you give me a pretty girl to look at and I won’t be very critical. However if there is no pretty girl, it better be intelligent! I have stopped watching TV (except for sports) ever since I reached the age of reason (circa 2004 CE according to the urban legends).

I kind of made my own set of rules when it comes to advertisements. As a rule of the thumb any ad featuring Irfan Khan is boring, any ad featuring Akshay Kumar is dumb. Mobile company ads are usually interesting but the Docomo music is so over done that it now feels like inspector Dreyfus scratching a blackboard with an iron glove! The nerve on those people to run the ad so many times! Who do they think they are? Airtel?

Bad commercials are tricky; they stay in our minds for a long time. They are kind of quasi-successful in that sense. How can anyone forget Aman Verma cleaning toilets in the Harpic Ad? I remember the first time I saw it; I kind of forced my mom to boycott Harpic because that is the only way to punish them for inflicting the misery on citizens of India (g2 gets patriotic sometimes).

Speaking of cola ads, Mountain dew is the worst. What are they all excited about? Jumping from the planes, suspended from the air, breaking through glass to spike volleyballs at girls wearing scanty bikinis while riding sports bikes and all that enthusiasm just to drink something that looks like stolen urine sample from a diabetes clinic (now you know why the bottle is green :p).

But there were good ads too. I am sure a lot of us remember coca cola’s “pandav kitne the” ad which urged people to pay only 5 rupees for coke (most shopkeepers used to charge one rupee extra). It was around the time this ad was popular, a shopkeeper asked 6 rupees for a coke. So one of my friends making a reference to the ad asked the shopkeeper, “Pandav kitne the?” And the shopkeeper promptly responded, “Draupadi kosam oka rupayi egestra andi“, which translates in Hindi to “draupadi ke liye ek rupee extra saab”