September 12, 2010

Atheist Ad Sense

The Dude vs The Pope

Last week when I was doing research for the Jesus vs. Gul Panag article, I followed a trail of links that led me to a few atheist websites. The interesting thing about these websites is that they always have “Convert to so-and-so religion” ads popping up where “so-and-so” is either Christianity or Islam, mostly Christianity. Yes atheist websites have conversion ads and Jesus Christ is marketed as aggressively as GI-Joe!

Converting is now as easy as 1-2-3... just enter your email address and click "Yes"
...and while you are at it, chat with Asif :) 
Let’s suppose our dude (of Meter Jam fame) is an atheist who thinks religion is a state of mental disorder. (The dude is a fan of Bill Maher) The dude goes to an atheist website to catch up and socialize with fellow atheist dudes. The atheist organizations are not very well funded. Apparently saying "whatever you believe in is bullshit" to people is not a great business model! To raise a little money, these websites put up Google Ads in their pages. The chances that our staunchly atheist dude embraces a religion because of a Google ad is very low! If you think of it, it’s even a little stupid to place that ad there in the first place.

follow the money trail... 
The dude can either ignore the ads or click on them. If he ignores the ads, nothing really happens. We all know that if the dude clicks on the ad, then the atheist website gets some money from Google which is interesting. Let us follow the money trail...

With Google as the middle man, the Church is indirectly funding the Atheist websites so that the atheists can abuse the Church! This abusing will only make it more popular in Google searches etc. which will drive more traffic to the website which translates to more money from Google! Who's paying more money to Google again? The Church!!!

Conclusion: The Dude is smarter than The Pope

The Pope Ain't that dumb!

The Pope as we know, throughout history has always tried to have more people in his club. The Pope always wants more people. But where are all the people? The American market is saturated and Europe is in a slump. The middle-east has a lot of brand loyalty! So, like most international business houses, the Pope is now concentrating on the emerging markets namely, India and China! And they have a pretty good business model too.

A lot of good Christians in Texas, Norway etc. donate a lot of money towards helping the poor and the downtrodden in Asia through Christian missionaries. With that money, a small branch office (Church) is set up in a remote village. Times are not good for the poor village folk. One such fisherman in the village loses his boat in the storm. The fisherman’s family is hungry. The fisherman is helpless. The fisherman has lost all hope.

On a bright Sunday morning perfect for fishing, the fisherman walks by the Church, depressed, dejected and vulnerable. He sees the miracle box outside the Church. Yes these Churches have miracle boxes and miracle prayer sessions on Sundays! All you have to do is write a wishlist and it'll happen! The fisherman has nothing to lose. So he writes how badly he needs a boat on a piece of paper and drops it into the miracle box.

A few weeks pass by. Things do not improve and one cold gloomy morning, the fisherman finds a new boat outside his house and lo! It’s a Christmas miracle! The fisherman is now convinced that Jesus saved him! The fisherman converts, so does his family… and slowly the whole village and then the whole district! It’s a pretty successful business model. It worked great in Kerala and the Northeast. It is working pretty well in Orissa and Andhra Pradesh too! The dude may be smarter than The Pope but mind you, The Pope is not dumb… getting 2 billion people into your club ain’t easy!

@Indibloggers... promote this post on Indivine here -->

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