The First Annual Facebook Awards

Lame people all around the world say Facebook is a blessing and I’ll unconditionally agree to it. It’s not because I can stay connected with people I don’t care about or because I get to watch/see/read interesting stuff. Facebook is a blessing because it allows me to do a lot of fun social experiments to eventually prove that all girls are stupid and guys are even worse!

Ladies and Gentlemen, without much further ado, gtoosphere presents -

Award for Worst Friend Suggestion

We all know Facebook automatically suggests friends, I have no idea how it does that. Whatever the algorithm is, it sucks. In most cases, I have no mutual friends with the suggested person! I seriously wonder why Facebook keeps on suggesting random females from all over the country. May be Facebook wants to promote harmless stalking. May be that is the reason Facebook is so popular in the first place! And yes,  Studd Laundiya is the icing on the cake ;)

Award for Most Responsible Citizen of India

Not every hero has a dragon to slay or a Disney princess to rescue. Not every hero needs one because today, we celebrate the new super hero on the block. He goes by the name “Ordinary Man”. He is like Batman after budget cuts! While Batman needs a Bat-mobile and millions of dollars’ worth of gadgets to fight crime, Ordinary Man needs only a cell phone. Whenever someone’s in trouble, Ordinary Man calls the cops from his cell phone and then he tweets about it! So criminals all over the country, beware because Ordinary Man has over thousand followers via two twitter accounts!

Award for girl with lowest self esteem

This is the first time in the history of humanity that such an award was even discussed. The nominees for this award are all those girls who put celebrity faces as profile pictures. I wonder why girls continue do that? It is not like when guys see a profile like this they think, Hey here is a girl that looks exactly like Katrina Kaif! All guys have already figured out that this girl is either too ugly to look at or has such a low self-esteem that she needs clinical attention. I sincerely hope that this will discourage you from that practice. 

Even though there are a lot of Katrinas, Kareenas and Priyankas in facebook but the award goes to all the girls who have Genelia D’ Souza’s pic as a profile picture. Now you might ask why Genelia D’Souza?

In the 2006 Telugu movie Bommarillu, Genelia plays the female lead Hasini. The movie was a smash hit; the average Telugu guy fell in love with Hasini and hence the average Telugu wanted to be like Hasini, which is fine except that Hasini is childish, dumb and immature bordering on mental retardation!

Award for Most Original and Wittiest Football Comment

First of all, I would like to thank BigFishMag for this one. I am a fan of Big Fish Mag and I saw this in their Facebook page. I just couldn’t resist giving this award for this really original and creative guy. Dude Manas, you absolutely deserve it. And remember, creativity is the art of hiding your sources.

P.S: This is an open ended post, So suggest new categories or similar stories and I will add it :)

IndiBloggers: This post is on IndiVine at http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=26726

The Film Far(c)e Awards

Planet of the Apes

On February 27th 2010, all the stars of “Bollywood” descend from the sky at their pretentious best, shamelessly aping Hollywood right from concept to the red carpet, from the nude statues to the fake emotional speeches, from the late after-night parties to the press conferences next morning, from the way they give interviews to the way they profess their love to “mommies, daddies and everyone else in their extended families”, and all of this captured by the shamelessly greedy media masturbating loads of fake enthusiasm trying to ape the paparazzi of America! (Ta da! I think I just wrote the longest sentence ever!) With all the aping and all the taping, it is one big planet-of-the-apes award ceremony. Yes, we are talking about the filmfare awards.

Its in the Name

A lot of people are of the opinion that the name Bollywood should not be used because it is ripped off from Hollywood (like that is the only thing they ever ripped off from Hollywood!). They want it to be referred to as the “Hindi Film Industry”. To be honest, I'm offended. We all know that Bollywood is not an industry; just look at it. It is a small bunch of families living off the dollar exchange rate by making movies for the million odd NRIs while neglecting a billion odd Indians. That is not how industries run; Bollywood is at best a mom and pop store!

Film Farce Awards

I don’t entirely hate Bollywood, only 97% of it! The sole reason being the “gibberish with English titles” that they market as movies. And the reason I have no respect for awards (apart from the reasons aforementioned) is because they just reward the stars. How else would you justify the huge number of nominations for Paa and 3 idiots? They are successful and entertaining movies but if you are judging them as a form of art, how do they fare? Does the screenplay of 3 idiots compare with that of DevD? Is Amitabh Bachchan’s acting masked by 3 inches of makeup in Paa better than Ranbir Kapoor’s almost no makeup act in Wakeup Sid? And Gulaal is not even nominated for best film!

The thing is, star studded movies like 3 idiots and Paa will sweep all the awards while the really deserving ones like DevD should be content with the critics’ choice award and that is my reason why filmfare awards should be renamed to filmfarce awards.

Note: the author is neither a fan of Ranbir Kapoor nor Wake up Sid. The references have been used just for convenience.

Film Far(c)e Bingo

As a reader of my blog, I assume you are fairly intelligent and hence not watch the filmfare awards. However if you do, I suggest you play gtoosphere’s very own filmfar(c)e bingo for some extra fun.

Image courtesy: http://allbollywood.wordpress.com