The First Annual Facebook Awards

Lame people all around the world say Facebook is a blessing and I’ll unconditionally agree to it. It’s not because I can stay connected with people I don’t care about or because I get to watch/see/read interesting stuff. Facebook is a blessing because it allows me to do a lot of fun social experiments to eventually prove that all girls are stupid and guys are even worse!

Ladies and Gentlemen, without much further ado, gtoosphere presents -

Award for Worst Friend Suggestion

We all know Facebook automatically suggests friends, I have no idea how it does that. Whatever the algorithm is, it sucks. In most cases, I have no mutual friends with the suggested person! I seriously wonder why Facebook keeps on suggesting random females from all over the country. May be Facebook wants to promote harmless stalking. May be that is the reason Facebook is so popular in the first place! And yes,  Studd Laundiya is the icing on the cake ;)

Award for Most Responsible Citizen of India

Not every hero has a dragon to slay or a Disney princess to rescue. Not every hero needs one because today, we celebrate the new super hero on the block. He goes by the name “Ordinary Man”. He is like Batman after budget cuts! While Batman needs a Bat-mobile and millions of dollars’ worth of gadgets to fight crime, Ordinary Man needs only a cell phone. Whenever someone’s in trouble, Ordinary Man calls the cops from his cell phone and then he tweets about it! So criminals all over the country, beware because Ordinary Man has over thousand followers via two twitter accounts!

Award for girl with lowest self esteem

This is the first time in the history of humanity that such an award was even discussed. The nominees for this award are all those girls who put celebrity faces as profile pictures. I wonder why girls continue do that? It is not like when guys see a profile like this they think, Hey here is a girl that looks exactly like Katrina Kaif! All guys have already figured out that this girl is either too ugly to look at or has such a low self-esteem that she needs clinical attention. I sincerely hope that this will discourage you from that practice. 

Even though there are a lot of Katrinas, Kareenas and Priyankas in facebook but the award goes to all the girls who have Genelia D’ Souza’s pic as a profile picture. Now you might ask why Genelia D’Souza?

In the 2006 Telugu movie Bommarillu, Genelia plays the female lead Hasini. The movie was a smash hit; the average Telugu guy fell in love with Hasini and hence the average Telugu wanted to be like Hasini, which is fine except that Hasini is childish, dumb and immature bordering on mental retardation!

Award for Most Original and Wittiest Football Comment

First of all, I would like to thank BigFishMag for this one. I am a fan of Big Fish Mag and I saw this in their Facebook page. I just couldn’t resist giving this award for this really original and creative guy. Dude Manas, you absolutely deserve it. And remember, creativity is the art of hiding your sources.

P.S: This is an open ended post, So suggest new categories or similar stories and I will add it :)

IndiBloggers: This post is on IndiVine at http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=26726

A finger for each ring

The fundamental problem with marriage is that it comes only in one size. As far as legality is concerned, matrimony is a monopoly product supplied by the government! From what I observed in Hollywood and American primetime television, the proposal is more important than the marriage itself! I am not sure if normal Americans are like that but going by the Daily Show (with Jon Stewart), it seems so!

I am no authority on marriage but I don’t see what experience has to do with giving advice so here I go.

My advice to guys planning to propose:

Don't.

My advice to guys who don’t follow my advice!

Now that you have planned to take the plunge (against my advice) you should know a few things about the intricacies of proposing.

1. The marriage proposal is supposed to be an ambush, you have to do it where they least expect you to. Choose public places so that it would be difficult for her to say no.
   
   
2. The most important thing is the engagement ring. The ring is usually hidden to add an element of surprise, there are however no rules governing where to hide it.
   
   You can hide it in a bouquet of flowers or hide it in her dinner, in a glass of champagne or her pizza dressing, in her chocolate ice-cream but don’t hide it in the bill! (In another world, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for a romantic comedy… the waiter brings a $10,000 bill for a $100 meal. The girl looks into it and finds the cost of the ring included. Then she looks up a little confused and finds our loser kneeling down and proposing)
   
   
3. Don’t take the above point too literally. Hide the ring only in food, drinks or flowers but not in things that concern the other end of the digestive track because it might end up looking like this.
   
   
   
   
4. Don’t do it on the phone, or email or SMS. To give you a sense of proportion of how stupid it looks:
   
   
   
   
5. Don’t be completely honest, you might end up looking like this.
   
   
   
   
6. Don’t do it in a sports stadium because in case you are rejected, it’ll take some 15 years to get out of the trauma and by then your kids will be old enough to find this video in youtube.

Statutory Warning:

Do not take unsolicited career, relationship and medical advice from an amateur cartoonist.