Leadership by Ineptitude

Chapter 1: Birth of a new idea
Circa 1998 AD

Mom tells little g2 that he is not a little boy anymore, so he has to take responsibility for his stuff and that also includes ironing his school uniform. Now little g2 as we know, hates ironing (he hates any form of work). So this is what he did- he started the ironing and did it so bad that mom was worried that he might burn his uniforms. Soon she realized that doing the work herself is much easier (both emotionally and economically) than making him work.

Chapter 2: The idea reaches puberty
Circa 2002 AD

g2 and his bunch of friends have just screwed up things real bad. They cooked and pillow-fought at his friend’s place and the whole house is a mess. They have less than 40 minutes to get the house back into shape lest all hell breaks loose. The girl at (whose place they made a mess) was paranoid. Everyone hurried; everyone was scared, everyone except g2. He took initiative and coolly started rearranging the furniture (intentionally) at places they didn’t belong. The others saw what was happening and quickly asked him to step aside and they cleaned up the mess in record time.

Chapter 3: The idea is bald
Present day

g2 is sure that his idea, with all its counter intuitiveness has the potential to be the next big management fad. He calls it Leadership by Ineptitude. It basically comprises of three simple, reciprocatable (g2 is not quite sure if this is a word) and highly scalable processes. They are as follows.

1. Take initiative with an air of arrogance giving out the message that no one else can do a “better job” than you.
2. Do it so bad that others should feel like they can do a better job and are motivated to do a “better job” just to prove a point.
3. Let them do the “better job” and you take credit for taking initiative and motivating them.

This is beneficial for the company in two ways. Firstly, the most useless people are moved up into the senior management- a place where they can do least damage to the company. And two: they make place for more efficient people. Think about it. (Edit: May be this is how governments function)

A collage of some psychedelic photography using only LEDs for lighting (thanks to Prady and Apoorv):

Sense of Humor

Part I: Monkey in the lab part II

I was there getting into an international flight for the first time. My luggage was like 5 or 6 kilos over the limit and my dad waiting outside, kind of worried if they would allow it or not. After checking in my baggage, I wasted time loitering around in the airport without going to the immigration (to be honest I did not even know I was supposed to go to immigration, I thought it was for losers coming into the country ;)...) And soon I realized it is for losers leaving :( So I slipped my phone into the pocket of my new cargo pants and zipped the pocket(no idea why I zipped it... may be because its there).

Traveling by air is not at all fun. Even the little excitement about the trip is killed in the airports. At least for me it did. Standing in a stupid security checkup for an hour was boring to say the least. And just when my turn was about to come, my phone started to ring. It was my dad, I knew it from the ring tone. I wanted to answer it but the zip got stuck. The phone was ringing and vibrating, the security guy asks me to hurry up, I had two pieces of hand baggage in my hands, the flight leaves in 20 minutes, the passengers behind me in the queue were getting impatient and the zipper was stuck! Something's gotta give!

I let the person behind me go and tried to open it, it was stuck in the awfullest of ways in the cruelest of times. I tried to break it open but LEE happens to make some really strong pockets! I asked someone else for help. He was holding the zip and pulling out as hard as possible while I was struggling with my balance! No luck either. Then I asked another woman with a baby in the next line if she had some kind of a sharp object that could cut through jeans and she looked at me like I was some kind of an idiot. (Of course she would... who carries sharp objects that can cut through jeans to the security check in an airport!)

So I went ahead with the security check with the phone still inside the pocket (ringing)...

Security guy: What is this?
Me: It's a phone
Security guy: You are supposed to keep it in the tub there.
Me: I know... but the zip of the pocket got stuck and I am not able to take the phone out...
Security guy: Look please, there is a lot of queue, don't waste time.
Me: stepped aside and gave place to someone else. Tried to tear open the zip but no luck
Security guy: Now... make it fast.
Me: I'm trying but am not able to.
Security guy: ignores
Me <in the nicest voice possible>: Do you have a knife or something. I want to cut this open.
Security guy <Serious stare>: No knife, only gun!

D for Dogmata

The other day I was in the bus stop waiting, whistling and generally feeling good and then I saw this really cute dog being walked by this really hot girl(I just had to mention it). Then the dog pooped and the girl picked it up! This never happens in India and just the thought of it made the "generally feeling good" feeling vanish almost instantaneously! It reminded me of this Seinfeld monologue.

"On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescope, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop , the other one's carrying it for him who would you assume was in charge?"

But I didn't just stop there. I started imagining how the world would look like if this were true. For 2 days, I saw everything in that frame of mind and it was quite funny. Try to think of a design for a car that a dog would like... Like really big wheels on which you can pee and stuff like that!

So eventually my mind went on to the entertainment industry... and guess what...

gToosPhere is proud to present a few snapshots of the alternate universe.

1942: Casablanca

The legendary line from the movie,

"Here's looking at you, kid"

would have to be slightly modified for the audience...



1974: The Godfather would of course be


2001: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone would be

Doggy Potter and the Philosopher's Bone

... The story would be pretty much the same, our little "Doggy Potter" is just another pup which is treated like a "dog" at his guardian's place and then a huge hairy guy comes and takes Doggy to the "The Dogwarts school of Bitchcraft and Dastardly" and then yada yada yada... the philosopher's bone... whatever!




2006: V for Vendetta becomes

"D for Dogmata"

I reconstructed the very famous introductory monologue by replacing all the V's with D's and surprisingly, it makes just as much sense as the original! A tough job but I did it anyways! It goes like this...

"But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Doila! In diew dumble daudevillian deteran, cast dicariously as both dictim and dillain by the dicissitudes of fate. This disage, no mere deneer of danity, is a destige of the “dogs populi” now dacant, danished. However, this dalorous disitation of a bygone dexation stands divified, and has dowed to danquish these denal and dirulent dermin, dan guarding dice and douchsafing the diolently dicious and doracious diolation of dolition.
The only derdict is dengeance; a dogmata, held as a dotive not in dain, for the dalue and deracity of such shall one day dindicate the digilant and the dirtuous.
derily this dichyssoise of derbiage deers most derbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me D."

and here is the poster...




P.S: I probably violated a 1000 copyright laws for this post. Also I don't have any money, so I give permission to sue google for everything without which none of this would've happened.

Se7en random things about me

I've been tagged by apnerve last week in a "meme" and now I am supposed to propagate this "meme". This is apparently called a "Seven-Random-Things-About-Me" meme.

Rules: As per the rules of the game, I am supposed to paste the rules of the game... so here goes

* Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
* Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
* Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
* Let them know they have been tagged.


History: Basically some self obsessed narcissist nutcase got bored and decided to write some stuff about himself and wanted to ensure at least 7 people read it and this was subsequently propagated by more self-obsessed nut cases and now is my turn. This theory also satisfactorily explains the technical term meme(ME-ME).

The common complaint is that people don't track back and I think I figured out why. As per a weird mathematically proved theory of social networking, every person in the world is connected to every other person by not more than 7 acquaintances. By this rule, Osama Bin Laden is going to be tagged and he will write the 7 things about him which will eventually lead to his capture and the person responsible for his capture gets a cool 5 million dollars. (Looks like our self-obsessed-bored-Narcissist blogger actually happens to be an OverAmbitious-OverOptimistic-SelfObsessed-Bored-Narcissistic blogger!

Now the 7 RANDOM things about me...

1. I day dream of myself as a person who will eventually make a couple of national award winning movies, retire by 40 and teach in the high school from where I studied in Rajahmundry.

2. Like all other great artists from time immemorial, I painted the last supper too.

I think Judas "nailed" it there

3. I HATE my gmail ID.

4. To not like a song composed by Rahman for me is blasphemy.

5. I am proud of my recently acquired photography skills even though most of the credit should to the gorgeous European landscape: http://picasaweb.google.com/mail2g2.rdl

6. I accidentally voted for the congress party in the state assembly elections recently.

7. I think se7en is a really big number.

Here are the people seven people I want to tag

1. pavan - because his blogs are very interesting and it is time he wrote something funny.

2. scott adams - because I have been every blog entry of his for the two and a half years.(btw he blogs almost everyday)

3. KD - because I want him to read my blog.

4. samhita - because it was after seeing her blog I felt like I should have one too.

5. Ashok - because his blogs makes me wish I had the ability to appreciate poetry.

6. prachur - because I am running out of people I know who blog

7. apnerve - because I want to see what happens if I tag him.