Showing posts with label new rules. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new rules. Show all posts

November 17, 2010

The Great Indian Shopping Mall

Prologue:

For the last ten years or so, India has been arriving at the world stage only to retreat again. Every time something nice happens in India, the media hails “India has truly arrived at the world stage” The euphoria lasts for a couple of days after which the columnists strike back and remind us on how we have not “truly” arrived...

So what is new in India? Let me sum it up for you in one word – Malls.

Read: The Great Indian Mall @ http://bit.ly/bLi2FY


P.S: It has some New Rules

P.P.S: Also I think it is important to mention that my whole "new rules" thing is inspired from Bill Maher's New Rules segment in Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO.

October 31, 2010

New Rules for a Better World -- Episode I

Inception

Normally I am never busy, NEVER! But the last three weeks have been tough. Probably for the first time in my life, I’ve been really busy! All this busy-ness made me angry and frustrated that the world is not a perfect place (if it is, I’d never be busy in the first place!) And now I want to dedicate the rest of my life to help (in my own small way) transform this world a better place to live. I plan to achieve that by proposing some new rules now and then -- here goes!

New Rule

Tweeters: I happened to tweet my first new rule @twit2g2

New Rule

The only time people should be allowed to say, “I love my mom!” is when they are explicitly asked, “Do you love your Mom?” 

Now you may think what could be wrong in saying that. There is nothing wrong with the concept, it just insults my intelligence. This is how an innocent rant about the quality of mess sambar is converted into a fake Bollywood interview.


I don’t know if girls pick this habit from Koffee with Karan or the Filmfare magazine but they better realize that they do not have to go out of their way to say that they love their parents. It is assumed you love your mom unless otherwise stated!

New Rule

If someone is smoking 10 feet away from you, you’re not passive smoking, you’re just passive smelling!

I am a neutral nonsmoker. I don’t mind if people smoke around me. I don't really enjoy the odour but I do not put a disgusted expression on my face nor do I wave my hands in front of my nose and follow it up with a condescending stare at the smoker. But I am afraid we’re a dying species!

Nonsmokers are increasingly turning into obnoxious self-righteous assholes who just can’t stand anyone smoking in their vicinity! The worst part is that they think they're doing a favor to humanity which is followed by an exemplary display of moral highhandedness! When you question if their behavior is fair towards the smokers, they always give that passive smoking bullshit.

I agree that passive smoking is dangerous if you work for 10 hours a day in an ill-ventilated office full of smokers but when you’re 10 feet away in an open space? Come on… You can’t inhale the smoke even if you want to. You just get a scent! And not liking a smell is not a valid reason to claim a high moral ground! If you don’t like the smell, it is your problem. I don’t like the smell of public toilets but I don’t go around telling people not to pee do I?

New Rule

Not every intelligent quip or a silly coincidence is an Inception reference!

Aren’t you tired of inception references, especially the ones that got nothing to do with the movie itself? After a lame inception reference, don’t you feel catching the culprit by the collar and yell at him, “How… how is that anything like inception?” You don’t feel like that? Well, I do.

I was walking to class with a PHD guy after a particularly wholesome lunch feeling like a python that just swallowed an alligator. I casually remarked to him, “I am feeling so lethargic that if an accident were to happen here, I wouldn’t rush to help the person!” Just two minutes after I said that, some guy fell down from the bus near the bus stop! The PHD guy turns to me and says, “Wow that was like inception!

It makes me wonder, how come anything slightly intelligent or mildly coincidental is now seen as an inception reference? I think it is intelligence that is becoming uncommon… almost like a dream we vaguely remember!

P.S: For the record, I never hang out with PHDs.

Indibloggers.. this post on indivine here --> http://bit.ly/aVwN3M