October 31, 2010

New Rules for a Better World -- Episode I

Inception

Normally I am never busy, NEVER! But the last three weeks have been tough. Probably for the first time in my life, I’ve been really busy! All this busy-ness made me angry and frustrated that the world is not a perfect place (if it is, I’d never be busy in the first place!) And now I want to dedicate the rest of my life to help (in my own small way) transform this world a better place to live. I plan to achieve that by proposing some new rules now and then -- here goes!

New Rule

Tweeters: I happened to tweet my first new rule @twit2g2

New Rule

The only time people should be allowed to say, “I love my mom!” is when they are explicitly asked, “Do you love your Mom?” 

Now you may think what could be wrong in saying that. There is nothing wrong with the concept, it just insults my intelligence. This is how an innocent rant about the quality of mess sambar is converted into a fake Bollywood interview.


I don’t know if girls pick this habit from Koffee with Karan or the Filmfare magazine but they better realize that they do not have to go out of their way to say that they love their parents. It is assumed you love your mom unless otherwise stated!

New Rule

If someone is smoking 10 feet away from you, you’re not passive smoking, you’re just passive smelling!

I am a neutral nonsmoker. I don’t mind if people smoke around me. I don't really enjoy the odour but I do not put a disgusted expression on my face nor do I wave my hands in front of my nose and follow it up with a condescending stare at the smoker. But I am afraid we’re a dying species!

Nonsmokers are increasingly turning into obnoxious self-righteous assholes who just can’t stand anyone smoking in their vicinity! The worst part is that they think they're doing a favor to humanity which is followed by an exemplary display of moral highhandedness! When you question if their behavior is fair towards the smokers, they always give that passive smoking bullshit.

I agree that passive smoking is dangerous if you work for 10 hours a day in an ill-ventilated office full of smokers but when you’re 10 feet away in an open space? Come on… You can’t inhale the smoke even if you want to. You just get a scent! And not liking a smell is not a valid reason to claim a high moral ground! If you don’t like the smell, it is your problem. I don’t like the smell of public toilets but I don’t go around telling people not to pee do I?

New Rule

Not every intelligent quip or a silly coincidence is an Inception reference!

Aren’t you tired of inception references, especially the ones that got nothing to do with the movie itself? After a lame inception reference, don’t you feel catching the culprit by the collar and yell at him, “How… how is that anything like inception?” You don’t feel like that? Well, I do.

I was walking to class with a PHD guy after a particularly wholesome lunch feeling like a python that just swallowed an alligator. I casually remarked to him, “I am feeling so lethargic that if an accident were to happen here, I wouldn’t rush to help the person!” Just two minutes after I said that, some guy fell down from the bus near the bus stop! The PHD guy turns to me and says, “Wow that was like inception!

It makes me wonder, how come anything slightly intelligent or mildly coincidental is now seen as an inception reference? I think it is intelligence that is becoming uncommon… almost like a dream we vaguely remember!

P.S: For the record, I never hang out with PHDs.

Indibloggers.. this post on indivine here --> http://bit.ly/aVwN3M

13 comments:

  1. I dont love sambhar! ...Nope... Am tired of Sambhar.... . :P .. and regarding smoking.. In our campus.. specific trees and specific gardens are alloted for the smokers.. they sit under the tree everyday and smoke.. and meditate... and thank god your busy! Else there would have been like zillion more rules :D !! Happy Busy Time! :P

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  2. If I hadn't been busy, I wouldn't have this urge to save the world!

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  3. I like sambhar specially the one that Sonu Bhaiya (cook of the Mallik Dhaba) I miss Sonu Bhaiya! :(
    I always had an idea the smell of public toilets are such because of someone like you pissing in them! Foul brain leads to foul smelling pee!
    I haven't watched Inception yet! :T

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  4. @ sambar joke : ha ha ...

    and what the hell is wrong with hanging out with phd people ... ? huh ?

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  5. true ... understanding inception shouldn't be an academic degree or some certificate of excellence ...

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  6. LOL! Mr rule-maker.
    Goes to show that an active sense of humour can redeem even passive smoking self-styled hollywood experts who are touchy about expressing love for parents.

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  7. @addybrainwave: point taken... shame on you for not watching inception!

    @varsha: Thanks :)

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  8. "I agree that passive smoking is dangerous if you work for 10 hours a day in an ill-ventilated office full of smokers but when you’re 10 feet away in an open space? Not liking a smell is not a valid reason to claim a high moral ground! If you don’t like the smell, it is your problem. I don’t like the smell of public toilets but I don’t go around telling people not to pee do I?"

    This is an observation even I made today. During my childhood, I used to find smokers everywhere. Everywhere! These days smokers are seen only in places designated for smoking- bakeries, hostel terrace, joints where many smokers assemble and smoke, auto stands :)

    In one way it is good that number of smokers are reduced, but smoking doesn't make a person bad! We non smokers have reduced them into a sorry minority!

    Brilliant post :)
    Keep it up :)

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  9. Thanks dude... happy to know that I am not the only weirdo observing these sort of things!

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  10. Your humor is first rate. I agree with everything right down to the inception peeve. We have had an overdose of references made to the movie.

    PS: Never say never :P

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  11. Ironic isn't it, that you chose to start with "INCEPTION". Yeah, yeah don't get rattled up now :P.

    Love your sense of humour. Nice post.

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  12. Thanks Pooja... that Inception was intentional btw :p

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don't be lazy